There is such a thing as pushing yourself too hard.
For example, This morning I had an anxiety attack. On my way to shower I began shaking, my heart was pounding so hard that it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest…And tears started flowing.
There is nothing wrong with me…Nothing at all…I’m not sad. I’ve been extremely happy lately…but I’ve also been pushing myself way too hard. Everyday is a constant competition to out do myself and be better than I was the day before. If I didn’t know any better, I feel like I’m still blogging from my aunt’s guest room with a dream. I haven’t made it yet…that’s how I feel.
This year has been the year of NEWS. New City…New Partnerships…New Business…New Relationships…New Friends
There are alot of new but somewhere in there I don’t want to lose touch with the Old. New is good, because it helps you grow…but the old is what kept me grounded.
I truly believe in the Secret and principles of “laws of attraction”. I was introduced to the book towards the end of 2007 when a random guy came up to me and whispered “I believe in the Secret”. Back then I thought he was nuts but I soon found out that “The Secret” was a book, so I picked it up and my life has changed drastically since then. The principles have everything to do with attracting those things that you want in life by: changing your thought process, gratitude for things you already have and believing you will receive the things you want by visualizing them and acting as though you already have them.
I drove 12 hours on Thanksgiving Eve to make sure that I was with my family on Thanksgiving Day. Although I hadn’t seen them in almost 2 years, I stayed in my hometown for less than 5 hours. While there I stopped at everyone’s house and the energy… I can’t explain it but it was bad for me. First, I stopped at a cousins and she was complaining about her kids (she has 3). I stopped at an aunt’s house and she was talking about her bad health. I even stopped at a friend’s house in the DC area and she was constantly talking about how she didn’t know how she was going to pay for this and that (mortgage, school, etc), how she felt like she would never find Mr. Right among other things. I said to her, “look at all you have. you live in a huge home in PG County, you have a nice car, you have your mom and you sister here with you, you have a degree..you are working on your masters. you have so much to be thankful and grateful for but the fact that you are focusing on the things that you do not have versus the things you have…you are blocking your blessings”.
It’s True my life has changed drastically over the past two years…and it isn’t because of a blog. It’s because of my ability to change my thought process. I used to be a complainer. Everytime someone called I had a complaint about something. Nothing was ever right in my life. There were friends of mine who I felt had it all when it came to their careers, family, love life and I envied them because I was too caught up on what they had and what I didn’t to realize my own blessings.
It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are, the law of attraction is forming your entire life experience, and this all-powerful law is doing that through your thoughts. You are the one who calls the law of attraction into action, and you do it through your thoughts. - The Secret
For example…My life started changing as soon as i began the practice of thanking God every day for the little things. I didn’t have much but I thanked him for the little things like having a roof over my head (when i was living with an aunt) and food to eat. Then I started visualizing what I wanted. Read the rest of this entry »
When I first started my entertainment blog, I used to do little weird things just for giggles. One really strange thing I did was give life to Ray J’s penis. I gave it the name “Jimmy Ray” and would photoshop him into photos of celebs. I used to think it was so funny back then but it was incredibly corny now that I look back. LOL!
Anyway, the other day me, Julia Beverly (CEO, Ozone Mag) and a few of her friends went out to dinner with Ray. In the video, I have an extreme case of giggles while coming clean to him about my obsession with “Jimmy Ray”.*blame it on the raspberry mojitos*
By the way, he claims he’s been celibate for two weeks. Good luck with that!
This year I’ve learned more about life. love. relationships. friendships. than I any other year of my life. I’ve been keeping up with this blog since 2007, and my prior one since 2004 but I’ve decided to start over. Start Fresh! With my new positive outlook on life.
With that being said, most of my previous posts are private but I will re-post them as I see fit ;-p
I’m also re-designing this one so it may look weird for a few days.
Thanks for your patience and still rockin’ with me. Appreciate you!
The more successful you become, the more people will hate you …the more people hate you, the more successful you will become.
Take Beyonce for example…
It’s the sad reality that I’ve faced this past year. My first year in business everyone seemed to “love” me. You could barely find a negative comment on line when inquiring about me as a person. During this time my site was growing but it wasn’t growing at a rate comparable to this year. As soon as the hate comments starting coming in this past year (which ironically began after I made the decision to put my images in my site’s header), my site grew at numbers that were unexplainable. The more people talked, the more the site grew and of course the more revenue came in. Sometimes I wonder if the trade off is worth it, but you can’t force those who’ve never met you to like you…and just because people are fans of the site, doesn’t mean they have to be fans of me, as a person.
My advice to those that experience this during growth and a period of success is to ignore ignore ignore! I always look at it this way, if those people took the energy they put in hating you and put that same energy into building their own brands and working on their goals, they’d be just as successful and we’d all be happy. But everyone has a role. You either play the game or watch from the sidelines. Whether you are booing or cheering, I’m going to win.
Speaking of Revenue: This guy posts a youtube video today with a slide show of my photos and broke down my story of how I acquired success over these past two years. In the video he stated that I make six figures. A commenter (that seemed like a very unhappy person) quickly commented that that figure was wrong and that if bloggers made that much then everyone would be doing it. If she did her research, then she would have realized that she was misinformed. Read the rest of this entry »
Wow how God works! This morning at 7:54am my grandmother calls me. I remember looking at the phone and was too seconds from pressing IGNORE before thinking of what I wrote in my last blog post. I picked up and she started with “Coley, I’ve been thinking about you so much and I just came across your number and had to call you”.
We then talked about her health and I inquired about a few of my family members and how they were doing. She asked how my business was doing and I explained the ups and downs. I told her despite of everything i’ve been through in the past year that I was finally in a happy space. I love my new place, love my team that i’ve built over the past few months, etc. I told her that my old college wanted me to come and speak to the students but I didn’t know if I was ready yet and she encouraged me to do so. I also told her about some of the magazines that I’ve been featured in and that I just feel so blessed and I thank God every day. She then asked me the question she always asks when she speaks to me on the phone. Up until this point I used to cringe when she inquired but this time I was ready.
